Do you fear your writing is not clear enough?
Do you think your words may bore your readers?
Do you worry your audience won’t love your message(reject it?)
Read on to get writing solutions you can use…
Meet my Book Coaching Client, Louis, an Integrative Doctor
Louis is committed to writing the best book he can. He’s writing a short book to his ideal target audience to show them his stuff! These over 50 Business Men worry about fatigue and less ability to work with enthusiasm. Some talk burnout. Others feel a lack of libido.
This book, with my guidance, shows how his integrative medical practice gives closer attention to causes of dis-ease and gives natural solutions, so his patients can regain their health and energy of earlier years.
Louis is ready to face his writing problems in Chapter 1. “Two Little Known Health Problems That Are Bad For Business.”
#1. His opening hook needed drama.
Are you frustrated about feeling sluggish like you’re marching in the mud? Do you notice it’s harder to hold a clear thought and make rapid decisions? Are you concerned that your days are getting longer because you don’t have the energy and stamina to get things done as quickly as you used to? Are you losing sleep worrying about how these problems might be affecting business productivity and profits?
The Book Coach’s Solution #1. Make each hook question a separate paragraph for easy reading. Opening hooks need to stand out to keep your reader captivated. They should reach your audience’s emotions about their problems.
Remember, your audience’s attention span is short.
#2. In his chapter middle, Louis named these headlines
Overlooked Problem #1 – Toxins Most Men are Unaware Of
His client study gave one solution. “Jim And The Dirty Crank Case”
The Book Coach’s Solution. The above headlines were clear and specific. Good job.
The text that followed went on and on. Good information and knowledge, but…My advice? “Think Less is More.”
One more solution: Use short dialogue that shows you and client in action along with some short telling to keep it all easy and fast to read.
Your readers are reading this important book to brand you so you must give reasons why you are the one they will want to connect with. They don’t want to read a long tome, Think of their limited time for reading. Just shorten the story or the client study so your writing is snappier, stronger and more clear.
Remember, You want to give your readers specific tips too. Make it easy for them to “buy” you.
Louis also learned from our first session to brand himself in his solutions. He’s now working on a few unique tags he can add to his chapter headlines that signal solutions. My thoughts? To set himself apart from M.D.s, he could use the “Beyond the M.D.’s Advice” as one approach. It may work in the book title too.
Instead of telling as below, I advised Louis to engage his readers with an opening question exposing his over 50 audience’s emotions around their present health slow down.
Instead of telling “Jim is a 50 year old owner of a large construction company. His doctor has him on testosterone but he still doesn’t feel as good as he would like. Offer this grabber as headline: “Is Testosterone Enough to Keep you Energetic?”
Book Coach’s chapter advice: Start with where your patient is now. Use a little dialogue in your client studies for engaging the readers, Keep it short. Add some telling to sum it up for fast and easy reading.
Patient Now: “Doc, I’m really disappointed. I thought fixing my Low T was all I needed. Maybe I just need more. I still feel tired and achy. My energy still sucks.”
Author’s Telling: Jim worries about not having enough energy and mental focus to meet his deadlines even though he has his other bases covered. He eats a healthy diet, exercises, takes high quality vitamins and has a great family life. What solutions can I give him?
(Trial Brand using his name )Dr.Louises’ Unorthodox Approach To Solving Jim’s Problems of Low Performance
(Old copy) I began Jim’s work up by ordering a battery of studies. Common blood tests included a CBC, Chemistry profile and hormone levels. I also ordered several integrative medicine oriented labs. Of these, the one which gave me the most insight was a test measuring “Biological Index”. This is a measure of the overall load of toxins in a person’s body. The Biological Index score runs from 1 to 21, with 21 indicating the highest toxicity. Jim’s Biological Index score was 18!
The Book Coach’s Solution to Heavy Text Above. Put these tests in bulleted points so it’s easier to read.
Blood Tests and Studies
*CBC, Chemistry profile and hormone levels.
*Test measuring “Biological Index” (Runs from 1-21, the highest toxicity. Jim’s was 18!
Instead of a lot more dialogue, Louis cut to the chase.
Sludge is normal stuff like oil that’s been used up and may have contaminants in it. Compare it to your present waste dump in your body we often call the gut.
Jim’s high level of toxins caused his fatigue, body aches and brain fog.
Book Coach’s Feedback: Instead of five paragraphs of long copy we came up with the above shortened version and this approach:
What Organs Get Overwhelmed and Inefficient? How Important is That?
The Liver. (can add a little purpose and problems here for each organ.)
Why Important? Hormones become imbalanced, Inflammation heats up and even brain chemistry is off. Finally, these cause low energy, low performance, and even disease.
Unique Integrative Detox Solutions Bring Relief
The Book Coach Advises. Take the long paragraph in the chapter, and put it into bulleted points.
*Take Daily Sauna treatments to sweat out certain toxins.
Headline–Jim Returned Astounded at our 6 Week Follow up Visit
“This is so amazing.” he said. “My energy is back, I can focus on my work. I don’t hurt. I’m so much more productive. I still don’t understand how something so simple has made such a major improvement in how I feel.”
Sub Headline–Attention Happy Body and Gut Seekers!
Jim’s high level of toxins caused his fatigue, body aches and brain fog. Assessing toxicity is routine at my office. It’s not part of standard medical curriculum. Know I’m here for you now!
This Is just 1 in a series of writing mistakes I’m solving in coming blog posts. Coming soon is how to replace slow, limiting passive sentences into vital writing that sells. You won’t want to miss these!
If you found value in any of these tips, please let me know in an email. I’ll share online and give you more tips!
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